PR S/i? 

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TURNING THE TABLES ; 



AN ORIGINAL FARCE, 



One Ect. 



By JOHN POOLE, Esq. 

Author of Paul Pry, Intrigue, Nabob for an Hour, Lodgings fo r 
Single Gentleman, Delicate Attentions, fyc. 



THE ONLY EDITION CORRECTLY MARKED, BY PERMISSION 
FROM THE PROMPTER S BOOK* 

To which is added, 

A DESCRIPTION OF THE COSTUME— CAST ©F THE CHARACTERS 
THE W|i€l«3F^F tI^ VtJkQB BUSINESS, 
SITUATlONS^^N^iicES^B^T^^PT^PEETIES, A«D 
DIRECTIONS. 



AS PER*o£&BirAT guh 



EMBELLISHED WITH A FINE ENGRAVING 

By Mr. Tindlay, from a Drawing, taken expressly in the Theatre. 



LONDON: 
PRINTED AND PUBLISHED BY JOHN DUNCO** BE 

10, MI*DLI ROW, HOLfcORN. 






^ 



*\* 



BaS. A«TH. 
*r3 '33 



w.s 



DRAMATIS PERSONS 

Knibbs Mr. Hugtiet. 

j Jeremiah Bumps Mr. Cooper. 

i ^ Edgar de Courcy Mr. Vining. 

Thomton , Mr. J. Vining 

S^ f: , Jack Humphries . . Mr. Liston. 

Miss Knibbs * Miss Faucit. 

P Mrs. Humphries Mrs. C. Jones . 

Patty Larkins . . . t ^ Mrs. Orger. 

The Scene lies at Uxbridge 



First Performed at the Theatre-Royal, DruryLane, on Thursday 
November 11th, 1830. 

Time of Representation — 1 houi, 5 minutes. 



COSTOME. 

Knibbs — Old man's brown suit, white silk stockings. 

Jeremiah Bumps — Black coat, nankeen trowsers. 

Edgar de Courcy — Blue frock coat, white trowsers. 

Jack Humphries — First dress, Black breeches, white coat, black-striped 

waistcoat, high boots. Second, a Major Sturgeon's dress. 
Mist Knibbs — White muslin dress, trimmed with white satin. 
fatty — Figured cotton tuck-up £0v«, white petticoat, and apron 



f 



TURNING THE TABLES. 



SCENE I. 

A Room at Old Knibbs's. On one side a window. 

Enter Old Knibbs and Miss Knibbs, l. h., a book in her 
hand. 

Knibbs. I tell you what, Sally — your nonsensical play-books 
and romances have turned your head. What objection have you 
40 the young fellow for a husband ? 

Miss K. Millions — insurmountable \ 

Knibbs. Millions! {Looking at his watch) In that case I 
have not time to listen to them all just now; but you may let 
me hear two or three thousand of them as a beginning. Now, 
for the first. 

Miss K. Wo aid my venerable and respected sire force his off- 
spring to become the consort of one she never beheld? 

Knibbs. If by your venerable sire you mean, in plain Eng- 
lish, me, your father, your daddy, I don't mean to force you 
to any such thing, for you shall see him before you marry him. 
He will be with us to-day ; and as he is young, rich, hand* 
some, good-tempered, and well-educated, you can have no rea- 
sonable objection to him : so to no more will I listen. 

Miss K. This tyranny is insupportable! No, sir; you may 
load my fragile form with chains, and. immure me in the deep- 
est dungeon of your castle, butrmy affections are not to be con- 
trouled. 

Knibbs. Hoity-toity ! Chains and dungeons ! Why surely 
the girl fancies herself the daughter of some blood-thirsty Ger- 
man baron, living in an iron tower in the Black Forest. 
Hark'ee, girl ! (snatches the book from her) hark'ee ; whilst I 
state the case, stripped of all romance and foolery. You are 
Sally Knibbs, daughter of old Sam Knibbs, a retired haber- 
dasher, living upon a comfortable independence here at Ux- 
bridge : young Bumps, the son of a rich ribbon-weaver at 

B3 



6 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Coventry, is to be your husband : and though I have neither 
chains nor dungeons for you, yet if you dar« to refuse him, 1*11 
lock you up in your room, and keep you upon bread and water 
till I have compelled you to give your free consent to marry 
him. 

Miss K. Once more, consider, sir : I am the sole pledge of 
affection bequeathed you by my departed maternal parent 
Would you see me wretched, as I must be if doomed to become 
Mrs. Bumps ? Heavens ! what a name ! 

Knibbs. Well, 1 admit it isn't a very pretty name , but as J 
have not heard that any one of the young gentleman's family 
ever died of it, it is to be hoped you will get over it in time. 

Miss K. When my heart is irrevocably another's ! 

Knibbs. Aye, Mr. Edgar de Courcy's — articled clerk to an 
attorney. Now, De Courcy is a sweet name ; but as his pretty 
name is the young man's only fortune, if you choose to marry 
him you must contrive to live on the interest upon it, for not 
©ne guinea will I ever give you. 

Miss K. But in a month or two he will be free; he will begin 
business for himself, and then 

Knibbs. No more of this. And, now, as I am going out for 
some time, should Mr. Bumps arrive before my return, do you 
receive him becomingly, and apologize to him for my absence. 

Miss K Your mandate shall be obeyed. 

Knibbs. As for your Mr. Edgar de Courcy, never let him 
dare enter my doors again. [Exit Knibbs, L. H. ; at the same 
moment Edgar de Courcy throws up the window-sash and 
climbs in.] 

Edgar. Doors ! Would Edgar de Courcy ignobly creep in at a 
door whilst he can fly into the arms of his mistress through a 
window ! 

Miss K. Edgar ! 

Edgar. Celestina ! (they embrace.) 

Miss K. This k charming ! Get out of window again and 
do it once more. 

Edgar. I would with pleasure, but time presses. Tell me, 
Celestina 

Miss K. Celestina ! What a sweet idea it was of your's to 
convert my horrible name of Sally into Celestina. 

Ed^ar. And I hope soon to convert your horrible name of 
Knibbs into De Courcy. But what says the insatiable tyrant, 
your father? Is he still inexorable ? 

Miss K. Fixed as Mount Olympus. He has set his heart 
on my marrying this Mr. Bumps, from Coventry, and he won't 
listen to a word I say against it,_ 



TURNING THE TABLES. 7 

Edgar, Bumps ! faugh ! 

Miss K. Here, take my smelling-bottle, Edgar: for my part 
I am ready to faint at the sound. Surely it is sufficiently dis- 
tressing that a young creature of delicate susceptibilities should 
have been condemned to be Miss Knibbs all her life ; but to 
change irom Miss Knibbs into Mrs. Bumps ! 

Edgar, Horrid ! From caterpillar to grub I But the butter- 
fly transformation from Knibbs to De Courcy ! 

Miss K. There is but one way to avoid it : we must borrow 
the wings of Cupid and fly to Gretna-green. 

Edgar. That is not a bad idea ; but in that case we must 
oorrow something more. 

Miss K. I don't understand you. 

Edgar. Why, unluckily, the Cupids on the north-road charge 

fifteen-pence a mile posting, and it so happens that (puts 

his hand into his pocket) — that's one objection to it : and another 
is that if I run away from my articles I shall get into a devil of 
a scrape. 

Miss K. Dear me, dear me ! If I had but a casket of jewels, 
now, as is usual on such occasions ! 

Edgar. If — ! or if post-boys were African savages we might 
bribe them with your coral beads. But since " Ifs" won't 
help us, we must endeavour to devise something that wili. 
When is the hated rival expected ? 

Miss K. Alas ! from hour to hour. 

Edgar. What sort of animal is it ? 

Miss K. What do you expect it should be, with such a 
name 1 My father says it is handsome ; but, to be sure, he would 
say the best of his own beautiful choice. 

Edgar. I see him before me. Bumps ! a silly, country 
hawbuck. Hang it ! if we had but time before us ; or if we 
could, intercept him on his road hither and keep him out of the 
way till we had arranged some plan ! — Hold ! my friend Jack 
Humphries, the exciseman : — we must get his assistance ; 
he'll have a thousand schemes for us in an instant. 

Miss 2C And so he will ; he's the cleverest creature in Ux- 
bridge. 

Edgar. The pleasantest fellow, the best companion in the 
world; full of wit and drollery; sings a good song; tells a 
capital story ; slaps you on the back that you would think your 
head was off; and for hoaxing and quizzing he is the terror of 
the place. 

Miss K. Tom Thornton says he can't speak English, and 
that he makes use of words and phrases he doesn't understand : 
but that is envy : for I can tell you he writes the puffs about 



8 TURNING THE TABLES, 

|fre genuine Sicilian bear's-grease ; and all the poetry fot 
Gloss's patent blacking— though he is too modest to own it, 

Edgar, I know he does. Then, again, Tom Thornton says 
he pretend^ to be the inventor and the director of every thing, 
when, in fact, he has not an idea in his head ; and that ha 
snatches the thoughts out of your mouth whilst you are in the 
rery act of uttering them, and coolly returns them upon you as 
his own. Envy again ! Ah ! take him for all in all, there is 
but one Jack Humphries in Uxbridge. 

Miss K. Sure as I live he is crossing the street now. That's 
aiGky. Call him in. 

Edgar, (hesitatingly) No, no— my cousin Tom Thornton is 
with him. 

Miss K. So much the better ; he may be useful. Call him 
in, I say. 

Edgar, (goes to the window and calls) Hey ! Humphries ! 
Tom! 

Jack, (without) Ah ! ha ! my young Esculapius, are you 
there ? Well, what is it you want ? 

Edgar. Never mind what we want, but make haste up, 
— That's right, they're coming. 

Miss K. What a silly creature you are, Edgar, to be jealous 
of your own cousin: so often, too, as I have assured you that 
the story of his having made love to me, when I was at St. 
Albans, on a visit to my grandmother, and of my giving him 
my profile cut in black paper, was all an invention. 

Edgar. O Sally — Celestinal should say — Love, passionate as 
mine, like gunpowder explodes at the slightest spark of jea- 
lousy. 

Miss K. Charmingly said i 

Edgar. But when the combustible-— when, like a damper— 
(aside) How cursed hard it is to be figurative. — In short, I am 
satisfied, and I'll never be jealous again. 

Miss K. Remember that promise, (aside) That wa6 going to 
be a beautiful speech ; and I'll make him finish it some other 
time. But here they are. 

Enter Jack Humphries and Thornton, r. h. 

Jack. Now, my noble son of Esculapius, what have you to — 
(seeing Miss Knibbs) — But stand aside, 

" For when a lady's in the case 
All other things, of course, give place." 
Prettily quoted, I flatter myself. (Bows wii* an air of self* 
tufftciency, and with vulgar gentility.^ Miss Sally, ycui hurnbi*» 
Edgar. Sink Sally ; Celestin*. 



TURNING THE TABLES 9 

Jack. And why not Celestial — since she is an angel ? Come, 
that's as neat a thing as ever I said. Extempore, too. 

Thorn. But why call my cousin Esculapius, when you know 
he is a lawyer? 

Jack. Eh ? — Ah, true, I forgot. Esculapius was an apothe- 
cary. But 'tis all one : lawyers and doctors both "bleed. Ha ! 
ha! ha! 

All. (applauding) Excellent ! capital ! 

Jack, (aside) Got that joke out of a farce — needn't tell them 
that, though. — But, quick; your business with me, for I'm in 
haste : I have a little matter of excise to do. You must know 
there is a chap in the town changing blackberry-juice into old 
crusted port, seven years in bottle. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Neat as im 
ported. Ha ! ha ! ha ! Can't stand that, you know. Ha ! ha i 
ha ! — I have a devilish comical way with me, have not 1 ? 

Miss K. What a divine creature he is ! 
" Edgar. To do you justice, Jack, I don't know your equal for 
wit. 

Jack. My equal ! come, now But there's no man in Ux- 
bridge with so fine a judgment as your's : and I know you are 
no flatterer ; and, modesty apart, there is a little in me, I be 
lieve. But to yonr business. 

Edgar. Then this it is : you are aware that Celestina and I 
have long been mutually attached. 

Miss K. Or, to speak more intelligibly, our hearts are burn 
ing with a mutual flame. 

Jack. Which flame, papa Knibbs is determined to quench 
with a bucket-full of patriarchal authority. Ha ! ha ! ha ! And 
that is not amiss for an off-hand — eh? 

Thorn. Paternal would have been as well. 

Jack, (with a look of contempt, turns from him to De Courcy) 
When is your rival expected ? 

Edgar. To-day ; and that circumstance renders our situation 
so much the more desperate. Now, Jack, as we know you to 
be a clever fellow, we want you to help us through our diffi- 
culties. 

Jack. Will you give yourselves entirely up to my jurispru- 
dence ? 

Edgar. Without reserve. 

Miss K. We'll do anything you may direct. 

Jack. Then the business is settled. Jack Humphries is a 
ready fellow at a scheme, that's the truth on't. Now, don't lose 
a moment: cram a few things into a portmanteau, jump into a 
post-chaise, and off to Gretna. I'll go at once and order horses 
for youi — and that's what it is to have a friend at your elbow 
(going) 



10 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Edgar. Celestina has already suggested that plan, but ther 
are many reasons against it. First, we have no money ; se- 
ondly 

Jack, (interrupting him) The first will do. What the deuce — ! 
If you had but given me a few days' notice of this, I'd have 
had a dozen schemes in a secundum artem for you. Let mt 
see — ! Where's dad ? 

Miss K. Out ; and I don't think he'll soon return. 

Jack, Tiiat is something in our favour : it will allow us time 
to think. 

Mm K. But, dear me, Mr. Humphries, we mustn't waste our 
time in thinking. I fancied you great wits never think at all, 
but do every thing on the spur of the moment — just as you'd 
write an impromptu in a lady's album. 

Jack. Pretty much the same ; for, to let you into a secret, 
some of us require two or three days' thinking even for that, 
But, come ; describe this rival to me. 

Edgar. Nonsense, Jack, for his description, His name is 
Bumps, he's a ribbon-weaver's son, and comes from Coventry. 
What has that to do with it ? 

Jack, Every thing. I have it at once : — you must no, 

that won't do. — Let me see, let me see ! 

Thorn. My notion is that if we were to frighten him out of 
the house by some trick which should deter him from ever 
again 

Jack, (interrupting him) Now, my dear Tom, why will you 
interfere ? You are an excellent fellow, but you are on such 

good terms with yourself that really [to the others) This is 

my notion : If this Bumps should arrive whilst old Knibbs is 
absent, we'll play oif some trick to frighten him out of the 
house. I'll be bound he's some country lout — half clown, half 
idiot ; so leave him to me, and if he remains a night at Ux- 
bridge, my name isn't Jack Humphries. Bumps! Ha! ha! 
ha ! Bobby Bumps, beyond a doubt — sure of the anachronism. 

Thorn. The alliteration, I suppose you mean. But you're 
mistaken ; his name is Jeremiah. 

Jack. Allit Now, pray, where if the difference ? What 

a conceited pendant it is — breaking butterflies with wheels 
within whee^. Really if I am to be interrupted in this way I 
must 

Edgar. Now, pray, Tom — consider that when a man like Jack 
Humphries speaks, it were but becoming in us to 

Miss K. Indeed, Mr. De Courcy, I don't perceive that Mr. 
Thornton has said any thing amiss. 

Edgar. Upon my word, madam, this is tolenbly plain. 

Miss K. Je ious again already ? 



%J TURNING THE TABLES. 11 

Jack, Now — now — no quarrelling amongst us. Let ua 
league against the common enemy, and our motto be Consort 
and Uniformity; and I'll give Mr. Jerry Bumps enough of Ux- 
bridge the first hour to last him his life. 

Edgar. But in what way ? 

Jack. I'll quiz his heart out. You know well enough that 
when I set my wit against any one there's no standing me, 
Name, Jerry : Jerry Sneak ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! Comes from Coven- 
try : Peeping Tom ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! (they all laugh and ap- 
plavd.) 

Thorn. I like that idea of Jerry Sneak. As you have the 
dress you acted Major Sturgeon in, when we played the 
" Mayor of Garrett" last Christmas holydays, suppose 

Jack. Now, there again ! — Suppose ! What else could 

you suppose I mean to do ? One would imagine I have not 
an idea of my own. (to the others) My intention is to put on 
my Major Sturgeon dress, pass for a military friend of your's— 
military, do you take ? — treat Mr. Jerry Bumps like a thorough 
Jerry Sneak, and fairly Hector him out of the town. 

Edgar. Good ! And what are we to do ? 

Jack. Eh ? — Let me see — ■ ! (to Thornton) Now don't you 
interfere, (a pause) I say don't you interfere. 

Thorn. Well, I don't. 

Miss K. But what are we to do ? 

Jack, (aside) What an empty-headed fellow that Thornton 
is ! not an idea ! — (to the others) I have it : — you must do no- 
thing; — merely support me: follow your leader. Ha! Ija! 
ha ! I flatter myself Jack Humphries will be enough for him 
—and something to spare, eh ? Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Miss K. What if we had Mrs. Humphries for an auxiliary ? 

Jack, (affecting not to have heard her) I've another idea. My 
kittle woman shall be admitted into the conspiracy. Mrs. 
Humphries has a vast deal of humour, though I say it ; and now 
and then she lets off a joke I shouldn't be ashamed to own to 
myself — but then, you know, we have been married so long. 
Ah ! she is a wife a man may well be proud of. You should see 
her album and her scrap-book — all of her own collecting ! And 
then for sly, small slander — ecod ! even her best friend can't 
escape her. 

Thorn. Excellent woman ! I am glad to find there was no 
truth in that report about her being seen one night when she 
was in London, going to Vauxhall in a hackney-chariot with— 

Jack. Mr. Thornton — sir — that is a subject, sir my little 

woman has convinced me of her innocence, sir — and if I am 
satisfied, sir 



12 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Edgar. Come, come, no more of this : let us go all three 
together to your little woman, and prepare her for what we 
intend. 

Jack. We will. We shall find her useful, depend on't, 
When I have fired off my great artillery at the enemy, she and 
you may pepper him with your small arms. Come, we'll talk 
more of the matter by the way. (going) 

Miss K. (calling him back) Mr. Humphries ! Wouldn't it 
be prudent to send some one to the coach-office to give us no- 
tice of the arrival of 

Jack. Now, my dear Miss Knibbs, can you imagine it possi- 
ble I should have superseded so important a point ? Why, of 
course, we must — let me see — ! 

Thorn. Aye, and with directions, in case they should meet 
with him, to send the bumpkin two or three miles abroad, 
'Twill give us time. 

Jack. Ha! ha! ha! A pretty round-about way we'll send 
him. I flatter myself that is no bad idea of mine. 

Miss K. I'll ring for our maid, Patty Larkins : she'll do it. 
(about to ring.) 

Enter Patty Larkins, r. h., abruptly, and crosses. 

Here, Patty, Patty, where are you going ? 

Patty. To the coach -office, miss. I'll do it all properly. 

Miss K. Why, how do you know ? 

Patty. I've been a-listening at the door, please, miss. 

Miss K. Was ever such impertinence heard of ! 

Patty. Why, la! miss, where's the harm of it? I've done 
all my work and had nothing else to do. If a poor servant girl 
mayn't make use of her ears, she might as well be without 
them. 

Jack. Exquisite sinpleton ! Ha! ha! ha! Now, this is 
what I delight in. (to Patty) So you have very good ears, it 
seems. Ha ! ha ! ha! And very long ones too ! Ha ! ha ! ha ! 

Patty. There's no judging by that, though, sir : see how as- 
onishing short your's are. 

Jack, (angrily) Patty, you But you are too near a fool 

for me to be angry with you. 

Patty. ( going away from him) O, I know my distance, sir. — 
Now I'll go to the coach-office, watch for Mr. Jeremiah Bumps, 
send him out of his way, give you timely notice, and — I know 
what I'm to do : I haven't listened for nothing. What a queer- 
looking man he must be with such a name as Bumps ! 

[Exit L. H 

Jack. 1 hope that stupid girl will make no mistake. 










TURNING THE TABLES, 13 

Miss K. We may trust to her very stupidity , for she'll just 
do what she has to do, and no more. 

Jack. Now, then, let's away. (Going — he drops a paper, as if 
by accident, and hastily picks it up again.) 
Edgar. What's that ? 
Jack. Nothing — nothing. 

Miss K. 'Tis something of your's, I'm certain. Pray let us 
hear it : you know I so delight in your poetry. 

Jack. Psha ! a trifle. Not at all in your way : no roses and 
lilies in this, I promise you. Besides, I would not be known 
as the author for worlds. 
Edgar. You may trust us. 
Thorn. An Epigram, I'll bet a wager. 

"Jack. You may well call it an epigram : one of the most cut- 
ting things I ever wrote : — bitter as gall. 
AIL Let us have it, let us have it. 

Jack. You have heard what is whispered about Captain Hig- 
gins and Mrs. Porter ? Don't forget that, because Porter is 
the point of the epigram. Ahem ! ( reads) 

" The other day to Uxbridge town, 
A captain of Dragoons came down :" 
He is, in fact, a captain of Infantry, but " Infantry" would be 
too long for the nuteorology. (reads.) 

" Dragoons came down : 
No wonder why he came down here, 
For well we know—" 
The lady's name is Porter, remember, (reads.) 

" For well we know he's fond of beer." 
Miss K. Admirable ! I'll take care not to quarrel with you, 
Mr* Humphries. 

Edgar. Cruelly severe, indeed ! 

Jack. You think so ? Well, there is a dash of cayenne in 
it, I believe. " For well we know he's fond of beer? It will 
break their hearts. ! But come, let us be off and prepare. I'll 
^post-obit my little matter of excise till to-morrow : sine aie, as 
they say. I'm all impatience to encounter Mr. Jeremiah 
Bumps ; and when we do meet, you shall see some delicious 
Sport, Miss Celestina, or never trust Jack Humphries again. 
•' For well we know he's fond of beer" 

\Exeunt Jack Humphries, Thornton, and De Courcy on one 
tide, Miss Knibbs into a room at the back. 



14 TURNING THE TABLES. 

SCENE II. — ^1 Street in Vxbridge. 
Enter Bumps, l. h. 

Bumps, (speaking off) Put up my cab, and give the horse a 
feed ; I shall sleep here to-night. — So, here I am in Uxbridge. 
My father and the young lady's have settled this match very 
much to their own satisfaction ; but it is yet to be determined 
whether no less important a personage than my father's son 
will consent to become a party to the contract. Dad says the 
girl is pretty ; dad's taste and mine may differ ; in which case, 
with all possible respect for his inclinations, I shall most duti- 
fully follow my own. Then, Miss Knibbs may turn out to be 
very green, or, which is worse, very blue : and rather than 
choose a blue woman for a wife, hang me but I'd marry a black 
one ! Well, here I am, and a few minutes will decide. Now 
which, I wonder, is the house ! Oh, here comes one who may 
direct me. 

Enter Patty, r. h. 

Pray, my pretty maid, do you know where Mr. Knibbs lives ? 

Patty, (curtseys) Yes, sir. (crosses, as to go.) 

Bumps* But stay, stay ; you don't tell me where. 

Patty. You didn't ask me that, sir. 

Bumps, (aside) Passing stupid, I perceive. Well, then — 
will you tell me in which particular house in this town Mr. 
Knibbs lives ? 

Patty. Yonder, sir, in the house with the green blinds. — 
(aside) What a smart, handsome young gentleman it is ! — I'm 
sure he's a Lunnoner. — Are you going there, sir ? 

Bumps. Yes, and I thank you for directing me. (going) 

Patty. I live there too, sir. 

Bumps, (aside) So, so ; this is lucky. — You are one of Mr. 
Knibbs's establishment ? 

Patty. Sir ! — I don't know what you see in me to take me 
for any such thing ! No, sir, I am an honest servant maid. 

Bumps. No offence, my dear ; that is all I meant. Can you 
keep a secret ? 

Patty, (holding out her hand.) I'll keep any thing you may 
please to give me, sir. 

Bumps. Here, then, (gives her money) Now answer me two 
or three questions respecting the family, and promise not to 
mention that I have made the inquiry 

Patty. I won't, sir; — not for twice as much. 

Bumps. First, then: is your young lady pretty? 

Patty. For my part, I don't think any of the Uxbridge wo« 



TURNING THE TABLES. 15 

men pretty. I come from Dunstable, sir. But, such as she 
"s, she is too good for the fright that is coming to marry her. 

Bumps, Ahem ! And who may he be ? 

Patty. One Mr. Bumps — Jerry Bumps — what else than a 
right, and a fool, too, as they all say, can he be with such a 



tame 



7 



Bumps. There is nothing very prepossessing in the name, 
ertainly ; but that is no fault of the young gentleman's : he 
lidn't christen himself; and his qualifications in other respects 
aay 

Patty. Eh ? — How would he ? — Well, he is expected down 
by the coach, and I am sent to meet him, and to lead him out 
of his way ; so I must go, else he may get home before the 
tricks they are preparing to play off upon him are ready ; and 
that would spoil all. 

Bumps. Tricks? — Stay one moment. Yo<ur mistress is 
averse from this proposed union, in consequence, I suspect, 
of an attachment in some other quarter. 

Patty. What's in it ? I don't understand all them words. 

Bumps. She loves somebody else, I suppose. 

Patty. Yes, Mr. Edgar de Courcy, Lawyer Quirk's clerk : 
but she is so affectionate and constant, and so good, that if she 
were to marry Mr. Bumps she would never love any other 
than Lawyer Quirk's clerk. 

Bumps, (aside) Now is this stupidity, or is it cunning ! — So, 
then, Mr. De Courcy is the happy man? 

Patty. No, he an't quite happy ; he is jealous of his cousin, 
Mr. Tom Thornton. 

Bumps, {aside) This intelligence may be useful to me.— . 
But they are all friends now, I hope ? 

Patty. Yes, ever since Miss Sally vowed that Mr. Tom 
never did make love to her at her grandmother's at St. Albans ; 
— else they were going to fight about it — with real pistols. 

Bumps. But what are those tricks you spoke of ? 

Patty. Why — something or other to frighten Mr. Bumps 
out of the house ; and plague him so that he'll never dare 
shew his foolish, ugly face in it again. And because his name 
is Jerry, Mr Jack Humphries is to treat him like the man in 
the play they acted last Christmas. 

Bumps. The man in the play? Oh, Jerry Sneak, I suppose? 

Patty. Aye ; and Mr. Jack Humphries is to be the officer 
who is to frighten him. 

Bumps, (aside) So, so, 'tis well I know my cue ; — Jerry 
Sneak. — One word more : who is Mr. Jack Humphries ? 

Patty. O, he is the funny man — he is at the head of all this. 



16 TURNING THE TABLES. 

He makes jokes, and sings songs, and imitates all sorts of 
beastes. He barks as well as a dog ; and he is so clever, I'41 
defy you to tell the difference between him and a jack-ass. — 
And then his little woman, as he calls her, is to do something, 
though I don't know what. 

Bumps, He is married then ? 

Patty. Yes, to Mrs. Humphries. But they were going to 
part a few months ago, because it was all over Uxbridge that 
she was seen in London, one evening last August, with a gen- 
tleman in a hackney-coaeh, a-going to Vauxhall. And such a 
talk as it made I for you must know that the folks of this town 
■—What do you think of this town, sir ? 

Bumps. Why — not much. 

Patty. Ah ! there's no place after Dunstable, sir. But bad 
as the town is, the people in it are worse, and our family are 
the worst of all — except Mr. and Mrs. Humphries. 

Bumys. What have the town's-people done to offend you ? 

Patty. Me ? Nothing, sir. But they are such a shocking 
ill-spoken set : back-biting, tattling — not a good word for any 
body witnout an epcextion ; and all because Mr. Flourish that 
drives the Lunnon coach, and I ahem ! — Now dou't men- 
tion what I've told you, sir, for if it should come to Mr. 
Bumps's ears it might spoil every thing, (as she goes) The 
nasty, stingy, ugly, wicked-mouthed people ! There's nothing 
like us Dunstable folks for carrying sweet tongues in our 
heads. [Exit Patty. 

Bumps. A reasonable compound of stupidity, cunning, and 
malice. But thanks to her for her information, for, without it, 
a pretty figure I might have been made to cut ? 'Tis clear there 
is no marriage for me in Uxbridge ; but though the enemy is 
strong and well prepared for the attack, I must not abandop 
the field like a craven ; I must make a fight of it ; so now U 
arrange my plan of defence. Miss Sally Knibbs, who certainb 
is not blessed with a romantic name any more than myself, ha» 
taken a distaste to mine, and fancies that my person and man- 
ners are in perfect harmony with it: Good. My rival is jea« 
lous of his own cousin, and, for a straw, would cut his throat : 
Good again. But the enemy I have most to dread, is a Mr.. 
Jack Humphries. Ha ! ha ! ha ! I see the very man ! Igno- 
rance, impudence and conceit; the wit, the droll, the Magnui 
Apollo of a provincial town ! And his tender mate, too ! Thai 
Vauxhall affair may turn to account. Come, I'm thought a 
tolerably clever fellow myself — in Coventry : five minutes for 
preparation, and if I don't demolish Mr Jack Humphries, may 
I be sent thither for a simpleton. [Exit R. H. 



TURNING THE TABLES. 17 

SCENE III. — ^4 Boom at Knibbs's. 

Enter Miss Knibbs. 

Miss K. That stupid Patty not yet returned ! O dear me, 
if that hateful Coventry creature should arrive, and I be left 
here all alone to receive him ■! Luckily here comes Edgar. 

Enter De Courcy and Thornton. 

Edgar. Well, Celestina, any news yet of the enemy ? 

Miss K. None. 

Edgar. And your father ? 

Miss K. Not yet returned, 

Edgar. That's well. Now do you go into your own room, 
and conceal yourself till the time proper for you to appear. 

Miss K. But when is that ? 

Edgar. When ? — That I can't tell you, but such is Hum- 
phries's direction. 

Thorn. That is Jack Humphries to a hair: He assumes the 
merit of the whole plot, when, in fact, we have nothing from 
him but " Leave it to me," "Follow your leader." All is left 
to chance, or to the direction of some happier genius than his 
own. 

Edgar. Envy, Tom, envy; but a man like Humphries is 
invulnerable to it's shafts. 

Miss K. And what is his little woman to do ? 

Thorn. That is a secret, and I must not tell you ; but should 
all else fail her scheme will surely succeed. You are to be 
taken by surprise by it in order that you may act your part the 
m.ore naturally. 'Tis her own scheme, though I dare say 
Humphries will assume the merit of it. Ah ! his little wo- 
man has more talent in her finger than Mr. 

Miss K. I see no leason, Mr. Thornton, why you should be 
so extatic m her praise. 

Edgar. Nor do I see any reason, Miss Knibbs, why Mr. 
Thornton's extasies need give you so much concera. 

Miss K. There; jealousy, again. 

Bumps, (without.) Won't nobody tell me which is Mr. 
Knibbs's house ? — Thankee, sir; but I don't see nothing to 
laugh at in me. 

Mm K. Hush f (runs to the window) O Heavens ! what a 
creature it is ! that must be Mr. Bumps. 

Edgar. How unlucky ! and our great supporter not with us 
yet. But, quick — to your room. We must do the best wa 
can till his arrival. [Exit Miss Knibbs. 

C 3 



18 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Enter Bumps, L. H. He has made some alteration i% his dress 

and assumes a tone, a manner, a mode of walking, §c. such as 

altogether to give him a ridiculous appearance. He dangles a 

stick in his hand. 

Bumps. Good morning to you, gentlemen both. 

Edgar. Good night to you, sir. (aside.) Ha ! ha ! ha ! Just 
what we expected. 

Bumps. Good night ! Well, I have heard of different cus- 
toms in different countries, and so I suppose . This is 

Mr. Knibbs's house, eh ? 

Edgar. It is, sir. 

Bumps. Are you old Knibbs ? 

Edgar. I am not, sir. (laugl\s i and moves aside so that 
Bumps may see Thornton.) 

Bumps. Oh ! Then, perhaps, you are the gentleman whose 
daughter I am come to marry ? 

Thorn. Wrong again, sir. 

Bumps. Ah ! Well, one can't tell when one is all among 
strangers, (laughs idiotically.) 

Thorn. What, I wonder, is the fool laughing at I 

Bumps. I'll lay a wager of ten pounds you can't guess what 
has brought me all the way from Coventry, (takes money from 
his pocket. 

Thorn. To be married. (Bumps stares with affected asto- 
nishment.) 

Edgar. To Miss Sally Knibbs. 

Bumps. Well, if ever I did s»ee tne like ! (hastily puts his 
money up.) Mind, you didn't take the wager, though. I'm too 
deep for you there. 

Thorn. Deep as a well. We should have no chance against 
you in any thing. 

Bumps. To tell you the truth I don't think you would. I'm 
not at all foolish. 

Edgar. Dear me, now, how cue snay be deceived by appear- 
ances. 

Bumps. Never trust 'em 1 wouldn't swear to your's. 

Thorn, (to Edgar) This j,s such a downright booby there 
will be no merit in vanquishing him. Let us desist. 

Edgar. No, no, — besides we must get him out of the way. 

Bumps. I'll tell you what it is that makes me so sharp. 
. ou must know that at Coventry we gay, lively, young sparks 
are always practising — that is, we are always trying to hoax 
one another. Now, whoever is the dupe is obliged to pay a 
capital dinner for ail the rest. 



TURNING THE TABLES 

Edgar, I'l answer for it so smart a fellow as you are, is neve- 
eaught. 

Bumps That isn't for me to say ; but I never let them catch 
me if I can help it. He ! he ! he ! he ! 

Edgar, (to Thornton, who has been whispering to him) Psha ! 
there is no harm in a good dinner; we'll each take a third in 
the wager, and Humphries will take the other ! 'Twill be 
treating the ninny as he deserves, (to Bumps) Well, sir, we'll 
stake ten guineas for the honour of the wits of Uxbridge, and, 
perhaps, before the day is over, we shall see who is made to 
cut the most foolish figure. 

Bumps. Before the day is over; mind that. I long to have 
at you. But all in good humour, mind : we never lose our 
temper at Coventry. 

Jack Humphries, (without — sings) " See the conquering He- 
ro comes I" 

Bumps (looking out) My stars ! what a fierce-looking fellow ! 
1 hope that isn't my new father-in-law ; I shall be afraid to 
come near him. 

Thorn. No, that is General General Jacko, who has kil- 
led more men than you have hairs on your head ; and if he 
should object to your marriage with Miss Knibbs, you had 
better undertake to eat him than oppose him. I tell you that 
as a friend. 

Bumps, If my father had known that, he'd never have sent 
me here. 

Edgar, (to Thornton) That was well thrown in. 

Enter Jack Humphries, l. h. dressed, in part, like Major 
Sturgeon, with a long sword at his side. 

Jack. Now, lads, is my victim ? 

Edgar. Hush ! (he and Thornton take Humphries aside, and 
whisper) 

Bumps, (aside) So ; that is my redoubtable antagonist : and 
equipped as I expected. 'Tis well I am prepared for him. 

Jack, (to the others) A wager ! It was my intention to pro* 
pose a wager. 

Thorn. There again ! 

Jack. And one word for all; I must take the whole of that 
upon myself, or I have nothing to do with the business. 

Edgar. Well, Jack, we withdraw our share in the stakes, s 1 * 
he ten guineas will be your's. 

Jack, (aside) A good morning's work. — Now prepare to split 
your sides, (strutting forward) Hem! hem! — Sir, I am proud 
welcome you to Uxbridge. (strikes Bumpson the shoulder) 



20 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Bumps. Sir, you are very polite, I'm sure, (appears to shrink 
under the blow, and rubs his shoulder.) 

Jack, (to the others) Did you mark that ? — Your hand, 
Bumps. (Bumps gives him his hand awkwardly, and hastily 
withdraws it.) Gunpowder and smoke ! (to the others) Keep your 
eye on me. — Gunpowder and smoke ! (Bumps backs away from 
him) Is that your way of giving your hand to the oldest friend, 
of your family. Your hand, Bumps, (looks towards the others 
and laughs.) \ . 

Bumps. O, if you are a friend of our family, that is a dif- 
ferent thing. 

Jack, (to the others) I've made the noodle believe I'm a 
friend of his family. 

Bumps. There, then, (seizes his hand, and squeezes it firmly. 
Humphries writhes, and makes wry faces) I know how to be- 
have to a friend of the family. 

Edgar. Bravo, Jack. 

Thorn. At him again. 

Jack. At him ! Confound the fellow ! one might as well put 
one's fingers into one of his father's ribbon-presses. 

Bumps. So you know my family, sir ? 

Jack. Aye — your father is — Peeping Tom ; (looks at the others 
and laughs) and your mother — your mother is Lady Godiva* 
Ha! ha! ha! 

Bumps. O, no, my mother is'nt at all like Lady Godiva : she 
is a short, stumpy, round little woman. She never rode a 
horse-back in her life, and I'm sure she wouldn't in that way, 
for she has not at all a fine head of hair. 

Edgar. This is exquisite. 

Thorn. You'll be the death of him. 

Jack. And do you pretend, Mr. Jeremiah Bumps, that you 
don't remember me ? 

Bumps. Why, if I never saw you before 

Jack. How ! — Don't you remember ? (aside) Let me see j 

what shall I remind him of ? — JDon't you remember my trip- 
pin? up your heels at the Corporation Ball ? 

Bvmps. Lord ! and was tt yafc t 

Jack (aside) One can persuade him to any thing. 

Bumps. Well, I'm so much obliged to you. 

Jack. Ha ! ha! ha ! For tripping up your heels? 

Bumps. No ; for telling me who it was that did it ; and since 
it was you — He ! he ! he ! he ! — you must give me satisfaction. 

Jack, (to the others) He swallows it. — (to Bumps) Satisfac- 
tion, my hero I In any way you please. Congreve rockets, or 
cur-and-twenty-pounders ? 



TURNING THE TABLES. 21 

Bumps, (shakes his head) No — I'm afraid of them, I'll not 
fight with any thing but little pistols — such as these, (draws a 
brace of pistols from his pockets.) 

Thorn. Excellent ! Keep it up, Jack. They're not charged ; 
they'd never trust such a simpleton as this with loaded pistols. 

Jack, (retiring) You are a very brave fellow, I dare say, 
but 

Bumps. No, I an't in the least ; but as I am sure of bringing 
down my man at the first fire, I don't run any risk — otherwise 
I'd never think of fighting with a general like you. (Humphries 
walks away.) 

Edgar, (encouraging him) Bravo, Jack : you are doing it ad- 
mirably. 

Thorn. Nothing can be better. 

Jack. He's not worth setting my wit at.— (to Bumps.) Put 
down those pistols. — Ha ! ha ! ha ! — Why, you didn't *hink I 
was serious ? D id you ever see such a creature ? 

Bumps. Oh ! — then you were only laughing at me ? 

Jack, Aye — I was laughing at you, that was all. (winks at 
the others.) 

Bumps. Ah ! But as I didn't come to Uxbridge to be laughed 
at — (presenting the pistols to him) — take whichever you please— 
'tis all fair ; there is only a brace of slugs m each. (Hum- 
phries again walks away and endeavours ts get behind the others) 
But, just to shew you what I can do, stand still, and I'll carry 
off the right hand curl of your wig without hurting you; and 
if, by mistake, a ball should go through your head, I'll give 
you leave to call me a bungler, that's alL Hold him steady, 
gentlemen, for fear of accident. (Thornton and Edgar has- 
tily get out of the way.) 

Jack, (in great alarm) I say — you — mister — (aside) People 
ought to be ashamed of themselves to trust such a bumpkin 
with pistols. 

Bumps, He ! he ! he ! Why, the general is frightened, I do 
declare ! Well, who'd have thought that ever I should frighten 
a general ! 

Jack. Delicious ! What a natural ! I've made him believe 
I'm frightened. Keep close to me, lads — it is capital sport.— 
(to Bumps) — Yes, yes, I am frightened; but this is my wea- 
pon, (draws and flourishes his sword) and if you are for satis- 
faction, my Alexander the Great, to-morrow — to-morrow I'm 
your man. (to the others) We must get him out of the way at 
once. 

Bumps, (retiring) What a terrible long sword ! No wonder 
you have killed more men than I have hairs on my head. I 



22 TURNING THE TABLES. 

don't like that long sword ; so, instead of fighting, suppose 

you beg my pardon for laughing at me. 

Jack (brandishing his sword.) What's that I hear! Beg par- 
don ! Gunpowder and smoke f 

Bumps. Well, then, if we raust fight . But since that 

is youi weapon, and I am not a very good fencer, I hope you'll 
excuse me — (slowly draws a sword from his cane) — if I run 
you through the body in rather an awkward fashion, (throws 
himself into a fencing attitude.) 

Thorn, (to Humphries who is endeavouring to get away) Now 
for your great artillery, Jack ; now is your time to demolish him. 
Jack. O — pooh ! — (to Bumps who advances upon him) Keep 
off, sir, — I beg your pardon, — I say, I beg your pardon, sir. 

Bumps. Well, since you beg my pardon I'm satisfied, [puts 
up his sword.) 

Jack Uph ! (wipes his forehead and says to the others') The 
fool ! I flatter myself I did that well : I've made him believe I 
begg'd his pardon. 

Thorn. You did that so well, Humphries, that, 'gad you 
made me believe it too. 

Bumps. Now we'll shake hands, general — (Jack w about to 
give his hand, but hastily withdraws it and walks away) And then 
I should like to see the lady I'm to make love to. 

Edgar, (in a blustering tone) Two words to that, if you please, 
sir. (Bumps puts his hands into his pockets as if feeling for his 
pistols.) That is — don't misunderstand me, my dear sir — but 
■ — the fact is that — in short, you may remember my friend here 
told you that if the general — the general should object to your 

marriage, you had better attempt to 

Jack, (drags him away) New you will interfere ! — that is not 

part of my scheme, and 

Bumps. Ah ! I wish I hadn't come to Uxbridge, because i 

the general should object, I shall be obliged to 

Jack. But the general will not object, (aside) The concei 
of these fellows with their schemes ! — The general admires you. 
Bumps ; and provided there should be no obelisk to your mar- 
riage in the shape of an engagement of your's in another quar- 
ter — you understand 

Bumps, (aside) What's in the wind now ! — Another engage- 
ment ? — No, no ; one wife at a time is quite enough. He f . 
he ! he ! 

Jack. That's what I call wit, Bumps — (bows with nwck re- 
spect, and winks at the others) — and I always treat wit with pro- 
found respect. 

Bumps, (bows) No one can accuse you of undue familiarity 
with it. 



TURNING THE TABLES. 23 

Jack, (to the others, who laugh, and affecting to laugh himself J 
You may well laugh. Did you ever before meet with such a 
bumpkin ? 

Mrs. Humphries, (without) Where is the perfidious monster ! 

Jack. Here comes my little woman ; and now, my boys, you 
shall see me give my victim his immortal blow. 
Enter Mrs. Humphries, r. h. 

Mrs H O, gentlemen ! avenge the quarrel of an injured 
woman, and, at the same time, protect a virtuous young lady 
from the danger that awaits her. (Jack Humphries, De Courcy, 
mnd Thornton affect astonishment.) 

Thorn. Pray, madam, explain. 

Jack. Madam, I wear a sword, (whispers her) Keep it up, my 
darling duck. 

Mrs. H. Tell me, I implore you tell me, is Miss Knibbs 
a-going to be married ? 

Edgar. Yes, madam ; and the happy man is Mr. Jeremiah 
Bumps, of Coventry. 

Mrs. H. 'Tis but too true, then ! O, gentlemen ! that lovely 
youth, that false, but too persuasive wretch, is under a promise 
of marriage to me. 
* , Bumps, (aside) I perceive. 
! | Edgar. Ha ! there, madam, stands the culprit, 

Mrs. IT. 'Tis he, indeed! Support me, or I faint, (to them) 
A perfect Jerry, positively. 

Bumps. I do declare, now, I never saw the lady before in all 
my life. 

Mrs. H. Deny me, too ! Let me get at him. 

Jack. My dear madam — (interfering^— let me arrange this 
affair, (to Thornton and De Courcy) I flatter myself my little 
woman is doing this admirably. — There must be some mistake, 

that gentleman is incapable of Be calm, madam, and com 

found yourself, (places a chair, and then runs to Bumps) Now, 
trust to me — I'm your friend — 1 11 get you through this. 

TJiorn. I'm astonished, general, you should take Mr. Bumps's 
part. Propose marriage to Miss Celestina when he is under an 
engagement to this unfortunate lady! 'Tis atrocious. 

Jack. Atrocious * if it be true, nothing can be more atrocier 
but, I repeat it, there must be some mistake, (to Bumps) Be 
ruled by me — I'm your friend — back to Coventry instantly, or 
you'll get into a dreadful scrape here. She'll never follow you 
there, I'll answer for it. 

Bumps. Well, general, if you think so But I never saw 

the lady before — and she knows it. (he makes signs to her to 
be silent) 



24 TURNING THE TABLES. 

Mrs. H. (aside) Ha ! ha ha ! The fool is making signs to me • 
What can he mean ? 

Jack, (to her) Mean ! he has no meaning — he is as flat as 
a pancake ! Keep it up. 

Mrs. H. And does the base deceiver deny his promise ? 

Bumps. Yes ; for you know I never made any. 

Jack. (Mrs. H, starts up) Patience, madam, (to Bumps— 
takes him aside) Now, my dear fellow, since the lady is positive, 
you had better not contradict her, but away with you at once. 

Bumps. Well, I think 'twill be the best way ; but as you are 
my friend, I'll confess the truth to you. But I wouldn't have 
it come to my father's ears for the world. — I do know the lady. 

Jack, (to Thornton) Ha I ha ! ha ? that's perfect ! I've per- 
suaded him that he knows Mrs. H. 

Bumps. I'll tell you how it happened — as you are my friend. 
You must know that when I was in London last August, in 
theVauxhall season 

Jack. The Vauxhall season ! (De Courcy and Thornton ap- 
pear to listen with interest.) 

Bumps. Well — one evening, just at dusk 1 wouldn't 

have mentioned it if the lady had not insisted upon it — one fine 
evening in August, I met that lady — and so — and so, we got 
into a hackney-chariot and went to Vauxhall together. 

Jack, (utterly confounded) In a hackney cha — chariot — to — 
Vauxhall ! 

Mrs. H. The abominable creature ! to pretend ! 

Jack. Now then, madam, was I a jealous monster without 
cause 1 

Bumps. But let the lady tell the truth : I never promised to 
marry her. 

Thorn, (to De Courcy,) Poor Humphries ! the report, then, 
was true. 

Mrs. H. But H., my dear H., — (endeavouring to appease him) 

Jack. Don't H. me, ma'am ! — (to Bumps) As for you, 
Mister, let me tell you 

Bumps. I thought we were friends ; but since you are re • 
solved to quarrel with me (puts his hands into Jus pockets) 

Jack. No, sir, it isn't that, sir; but i must tell you, sir, that 
that lady is married — I happen to know it — and her husband, 
sir, is a worthy, good man. 

Bumps. He ! he! he ! poor devil ! he must be a very wor- 
thy man. But the lady told m3 she was a widow — the widow 
of a foolish exciseman, somewhe;e in the country. 

Jack. Mister ! — madam ! — 

Mrs. H My dear Jack, I vow and declare 



BURNING THfc TABLES, 21 

Jack, (io Mrs R.) Leave me— Cicat rice ! 

Thorn. You would do well, Jack, to toss him out of window* 

Jack. And so I would — but I might hurt some innocent per- 
Uti in the street. 

Edgar. Never mind, Humphries, never mind ; you will be 
amply avenged ; for, thanks to this discovery, Mr. Knibbs him- 
self will reject such a reprobate for a son-in-law. (to Bumps) 
But the young lady shall be made acquainted with your charac- 
ter, sir. (Goes towards Miss Knibbs's door and leads her forth.') 

Thorn. I'm devilish sorry for you, Jack; but I'll tell the 
story all over Uxbridge, and expose him. 

Enter Miss Knibbs, led forward by De Courcy. 

Miss K. (to Jack Humphries, as she passes; and taking hit 
hand) Thank'ec, Mr. Humphries, I've overheard it all; you 
have carried on the joke charmingly. , „^ 

Jack. A joke, miss ! a pretty joke for me ! 

Edgar. Behold, young lady, the person to whom you are to 
be sacrificed ; but you are now to learn 

Miss K. I am acquainted with the person's proceedings ; (with 
a look of extreme contempt J and trust that, after the recent dis- 
covery, the person will not presume to solicit my hand. 

Bumps, (aside) What a tender look ! smitten with me at first 
sight. — He ! he ! he ! But I don't mind the discovery, miss, 
for I'm sure you don't love him, and so is my father. 

Miss K. Don't love him ! what does the idiot mean ! (they 
all appear astonished) 

Bumps. The young gentleman that father discovered comes 
a-courting you — one Mr. — Mr. De Courcy. 

Edgar. Indeed ! (Miss Knibbs takes De Courcy's hand, and 
looks tenderly at him ; he at the same time leaning on Thornton's 
shoulder) The father is as remarkable for penetration as the son, 
it should seem. 

Bumps. O ! fattier made a world of inquiries before he would 
trust me to come and be married. But only to think, miss, how 
cleverly you have imposed upon the poor soft-headed young 
gentleman ; when, S you love anybody at all, it is a Mr. 1 

forget his name — a cousin of his — you know he made love to 
you at St. Albans, where you gave him yonr profile cut in 
black paper. 

Edgar, {violently) I was certain of it from the first, (starting 
from them) 

Bumps. O, you may be quite certain of it; it is the town talk 
m Coventry. Do you know the gentleman ? 

Edgar. Stand aside, fool ! < -vc „ 

Miss K, My dear Edgar, believe m*e*-~- — <( 



26 TURNING THE 

Thorn. My dear Ned, may I perish u 

Edgar. Here we part, madam, never to m 
you, si r - 

Thorn. Well, sir, since my word is insufficient — be it as you 
please. 

Mrs. H. But H. — , my darling H. — , I will be heard. 

Jack. Silence, madam ; you have exonerated your name, so 
go to your paramount if you please. For myself — Doctors' Com- 
mons shall do an injured husband right, if a habeas corpus is to 
be had for money. [All the characters (except Bumps, who re- 
tains his place, and laughs aside) are walking about angrily and, in 
confusion.'] 

Knibbs. (without) Come with me, you saucy baggage. 

Edgar. Here comes your father, madam, to witness my formal 
renunciation of your hand. 

Jack. And my separate maintenance. 

Miss K. (to Bumps ) Well, sir, I hope you are satisfied with 
the mischief your visit has occasioned? 

Bumps. Yes, thank'ee kindly, miss, (retires up, and arranges 
his dress) _^* 

Enter Knibbs and Patty, l. h. 

Knibbs. Now, who has dared to send this foolish girl to pre- 
vent the arrival of the son of my old friend ? 

Edgar. Allow me to explain, sir. 

Knibbs. How is it you are here, sir, notwithstanding my re- 
quest that you would abstain ? 

Edgar. This is the last time I shall offend, sir ; I decline 
the honour of an alliance with your family. 

Knibbs. Decline ! Your humble servant, sir ! For the same 
reason, perhaps, that you would decline the pleasure of taking 
possession of my house and property. 

Edgar. At the same time it is proper you should know that 
your intended son-in-law — 

Jack, (comes forward) Leave that to me : I'll put a spoke in 
his wheel. Sir, you see before you the victim o f 

Mrs. H. Would you make a fool of yourself ? 

Jack. No matter what I make — of myself, ma'am, (aside) 
That was cutting. — Sir, to my sorrow I know that your intended 
son-in-law is 

Bumps, (in his own manner) Perfectly prepared to meet any 
charge that may be brought against him by (bows to each as lie 
addresses them) Mr. De Courcy, Lawyer Quirk's clerk; his 
friend, Mr. Tom Thornton ; or even their formidable colleague, 
the renowned General Jacko, alias Mr. Jack Humphries, tha 
exciseman. $They aU look at each other in amazement. 



NING THE TABLES 

my young friend from Coventry \ Fm hear- 
tily glad to see you. 

Patty. That isn't he, sir ; that's the handsome young Lun- 
nonner that gave me the money to keep the secret I told you. 

Knibbs. (to Bumps) But what have I heard about some trick 
to be played off against you ? — And you, Mr. Humphries !— 
what are you doing here in that fool's dress ? 

Jack. Really, sir, my mind is in such a state, pro format 
that I shall be obliged to any one that would tell me. 

Bumps. I refer you for an explanation to my little ally, (point- 
ing to Patty) 

Patty. What's it! I told you nothing but the truth, sir 
(aside) One can see he wasn't brought up at Dunstable. 

Bumps. The truth is, sir (about to explain) 

Miss K, For Heaven's sake, sir— —(alarmed, and entreat- 
ingly) 

Bumps, (to her, and taking her hand) Enough, (to Knibbs) 
The case is simply this. There is a trifling wager of ten gui- 
neas, between these gentlemen and myself, as to which party 
should outwit the other. The combined force against me — sup- 
ported, too, by the great artillery of the General — presented 
such fearful odds against the unassisted powers of — he ! he ! 
he I a poor Jerry Sneak, as they took me to be — that had I not 
fortunately obtained information of their plan of attack, toge- 
ther with the disclosure of certain little secrets, which added 
to the advantages of my position 

Edgar. So then, the story about the profile -? 

Bumps. Is unfounded for any thing I know to the con- 
trary. [Edgar takes the hands of Miss K. and Thornton. 

Jack. My dear sir — I tremble to ask it — and the trip to 
Vauxhall ? 

Bumps. I never had the pleasure of seeing that lady till to- 
day. 

Jack. Then my little woman has passed triumphantly through 
the fiery orgies. 

Mrs. H. And could you suspect me, Jack ? (aside and looking 
towards Bumps) The iinpvdent creature ! to pretend that he was 
the person. 

Jack, (to Thornton) Hang the fellow ! he has given me such 
a fright it will be well if I escape an attack of the multum in 
parvo. (Thornton whispers him) Well, well, 'tis all one; it's a 
Latin complaint 

Knibbs. Well, I dare say you understand one another, but I'm 
as much in the dark as ever. 

Bumps. Hear me, then, sir. My union with this young lad| 



28 TURNING *RE TABLES. 

18 impossible ; listen therefore to the entreaties of a more fa- 
voured suitor. Come, come ; these gentlemen have lost a 

dinner to me, and over a glass of their good wine, I will sug- 
gest to you such reasons for your compliance 

TJwrn. Mr. Humphries insisted on taking the wager entirely 
upon himself, so he must 

Jack. Well, if I must A pleasant day I have had ! (re- 
luctantly pays the money) 

Knibbs. How is this, Mr. Humphries ? I thought that when 

you chose to set your wit at any one ! But one would 

^think you had the worst of the joke. 

Jack. Any one tha»t didn't* understand my tictacs would. I'll 
have one more touch at him. {to Bumps) The fact is, sir, if 
you hadn't come here anonymously. 

Thorn, {correcting him) Incog. 

Jack, {insisting angrily upon the wend) Anonymously — I 
should have found you an easy bird of prey : I fancied (look* 
knowingly at the others) you were a fool. 

Bumps. Whilst I fancied you were a wit : let us each ho- 
nestly confess his error and shake hands, (they shake hands) 

Jack. I flatter myself I had him there. 

Bumps. You promised your friends a little amusement at my 
expense ; but if the same end has been attained — though by 
Turning the Tables — I hope they will not be dissatisfied. 



DISPOSITION OF THE CHARACTERS AT THE FALL 
OF THE CURTAIN. 

Patty. Bumps. Edgar. Miss K. Knibbs. Jack. Mrs. H 



Printed by John Duncombc and Co. Middle Row, Hulbora. 



nUNCOMBE'S 

M USIC FOR ALL CLASSES . 

A CATALOGUE 

OF 

CORRECT «fc GOOD EDITIOM 9 

OF 

Mi*eellaiteoiii* Son^s, I>uett» Glees; 
Pieces, «fce. 

BY THE BEST COMPOSERS, 

INCLUDING MANY OF THE FAVOURITE WORKS OF 

HANDEL, PURCELL, DR. ARNE, DR. CALLCOTT, DR. ARNOLD, 

W. SHIELD, ATTWOOD, REEVE, HART, ETC. 

Printed the Full Music Sheet size on Good Paper, from the 

Original Plates, and sold at the extremely Low Price of 

Threepence Each. 

PUBLISHED BY JOHN DUNCOMBE, 10, MIDDLE ROW, 
HOLBORN. 



Alice Gray, a celebrated Ballad, sung at the Theatres Royal, 

composed, with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte, by 

Louis Jansen 
Auld iang *yne, a popular Scotch Song, sung by Mr. Sinclair 
A highlandman my love was born, a celebrated Scotch Song 
Arm, arm, ye brave, a celebrated Air, composed by G F Handel 
Adieu, my native land, adieu, a favourite Song, sung at Public 

Concerts 
Argyle is my name, or Bannocks of Barley Meal, a popular Song 

sung by Mr. Braham 
Ah, vous darai je Maman, a Cflebrated French Song, arranged 

with an accompaniment for the Flute or Violin 
Angels ever bright and fair, a celebrated Song, sung at Public 

Concerts, composed by G F Handel 
A nna. or the Adieu, a favourite Song, composed by Mr. Hook 
Auld RobinGray, a favourite Scotch Song, sung at Public Concerts 
Alone, by the light of the moon, a celebrated Song, composed by 

Mr Hook, and sung at Vauxhall 
All on board of a man of Wa . a favourite Sea Song, composed by 

Mr. Hook, and sung at Public Concerts, Vauxhall, &c. 
A rose tree in full bearing, a popular Vocal Duett, sung in 'The 

Poor Soldier,' composed by \V. Shield 
Away with melancholy, a favourite Duett for Two Voices, com- 
posed with Piano Forte accompaniments by Mozart 
The Alderman's Thumb, a favourite Comic <31ee, composed by 

Dr. Harrington 



Duncombe'ft Piano Forte JMugic 

8d. Each, [Pubished at 10, Middle Row, Holborn. 

And the glory of the Lord, a celebrated air, sung at Public Festi- 
val, composed by G F. Handel 

At the front of a cottage with woodbine o'ergrown, a favourite 
Song, sung at the Theatres Royal 

The Bold Dragoon, a celebrated Song, arranged with an accompa- 
niment for the Piano Fort- 

The Bud of the rose, a favourite Song, composed by Shield, and 
sung in ' Rosina' 

Bonny J' j m of Aberdeen, a favourite Scotch Ballad, arranged for 
the Piano Forte, by Mr. Hook 

But thou didst not leave his soul in hell, composed by G . F. 
Hand. 1 

Hark, the bonny Christ Church bells, a favourite Catch, arranged 
for Three Voices, and also for the Piano Forte, as suDg at 
Vauxhall 

Battle of the Nile a celebrated National Song, sung at the Public 
Concerts — arranged for the Piano Forte 

Begone, unbelief, my Saviour is near- and Grace, 'tis a charming 
sound, two favourite Hymns — arranged with an accompani- 
ment for the Piano Forte 

Blow, blow, thou wintry wind, a favourite Song, sung by Mr. 
Braham in the * Merry Wives of Windsor/ at the Theatres 

But who may abide the day of his coming, a celebrated Air, com- 
posed by G F. Handel 

The Beggar Girl a favourite Ballad, arranged with an accompani- 
ment f»r the Piano Ferte. by Davy 

Black eyed Susan, the celebrated Ballad, written by Gay, and sung 
at the Theatres Royal. Public Conceits. &c. 

Blue bells of Scotland, a favourite Scotch ballad, arranged with an 
accompaniment for the Piano Forte or Harp 

Cachouca Dance, as danced at the lheatres Royal, arranged for 
the Piano Forte 

Old Cunwell the Pilot, or The Look out, a very celebrated Pong, 
written, composed, and sung by Dibdin 

The Caledonian Laddie, a favourite Scotch Song, composed by 
Hook and sung with great applauseat Vauxhall, &c 

Cuckoo Song— When daisies pied and violets blue, a celebrated 
Song, composed by Dr Arne.andsung with universal applause 
in • As you like it* 
omfort ye, my people, the celebrated Air sung by Mr. Braham— 

composed by G F. Handel 
he Coronation Anthem, composed by G. F. Handel, and per* 

formed at Public Festivals with universal approbation 
ome, come, all noble souls, a celebrated Glee tot Three Voices, 

as sung at the Theatres Royal. &c. 
*ould a man be secure, a favourite Duett, arranged for the Piano 
Forte, and sung at most Concerts 

Jome unto those yellow sands, a favourite Song, sung in the 
• Temoest* — composed by Henry Purcell 



I 
IHincombe'ft Piano Forte Hfusle* • 

#d JBacb. [Published at 10, Middle How, Holborn* 

Come, ever-smiling liberty, a celebrated Air, composed by G. F, 

Handel 
Come if you dare, a celebrated Song and Chorus, composed by H. 

Purcell,and sung with much applause at the Theatres Royal 
Come let us join our cheerful songs, a celebrated Hymn, arranged 

with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte. 
Crown him lord of all, a much admired Hymn, arranged for Four 

Voices, with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
Dame Durden, a favourite Comic Glee for Three voices 
Drink to me only with thine eyes a ceiebrated Glee for Three 

Voices, sung at P ublic Festivals, &c. 
Deeper and deeper still, a very favourite Aix sung by Mr. Braham 

at Public Festivals — composed by Handel 
Down by the river there grows a green willow, a favourite Song, 

written by G. Colmah, Esq. Music by S. Storace 
Deep in the fountain of this beating heart, a celebrated Song, sung 

with universal applause by Mr Braham — the Music composed 

by D. Corri 
Daintie Davie, a favourite Scotch Song, written by Robert Burns. 

Arranged for the Piano Forte 
Dear sir this brown jug, or Toby Fillpot. A celebrated Song 

Hung in the 4 Poor Soldier* at the Theatres Royal 
Dulce Domum, a favourite Air adapted for the Piano Forte—with 

Latin and English Words 
Ere around the huge oak, a favourite Song— sung at the Theatres 

Royal, &c. Composed by W. Shield 
Encompassed in an angel's frame — a celebrated Song sung at the 

Theatres Royal, Music composed by Jackson of Exeter 
Flow thou regal purple stream — a very celebrated Song sung at 

the Theatres Royal, Concerts, &c. 
Favourite Fishing Duett, sung at the Theatres Royal — the Music 

composed by W. Reeve 
Faint and wearily the wayworn traveller, a celebrated Duett, sung 

in * The Mountaineers Music composed by Dr. Arnold 
From night till morn 1 take my glass— a very celebrated Duett 

sung at Conmvial Societies, &c. 
Full fathom five — a favourite Song and Chorus sung in the * Tern* 

pest' — composed by Henry Purcell 
From all that dwell beiow the skits— a favourite Hymn, arranged 

with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
For unto us a child it born, a celebrated Air sung at Public Festi- 
vals — the Music composed by G # F. Handel 
Forget me not, a favourite Song sung at Public Concerts, Festi- 
vals, &c. Music composed by Mozart 
Francine, ou La Bergere du Rhone — a celebrated French Song. 

Arranged with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
The Gallant Troubadour, a favourite Song sung at Public Con- 
certs—arranged with an accompaniment foi the Piano Forte 
Green grow the rushes, O —a favourite Scotch Song, sung by Mi, 



Duncombe'i Piano Forte music. 

Sd. Each. [Published at 1C, Middle Row, Holborn. 

Sinclair at Vauxhall. Arranged with an accompaniment for 

the Piano Forte 
God save the Queen — the Grand National Anthem, as sung at the 

Theatres Royal. Public places of Amusement, Ac, 
The glasses sparkle on the board — a favourite Song, written bjr 

W. D. Diggs, Esq. Music by T. A. Geary— aung with great 

appla se at var ous Concerts, &c. 
Go George I ean't endure you — a celebrated Song, sung with 

universal applause in the Comic Opera of ' No song no 

supper 
Gentle airs, melodious strains— composed by Handel, and sung 

by Mr. Braham — arranged for the Piano Forte with an Ac- 
companiment for the Vioiincello as performed by Mr. Linley 
The celebrated Hunting Chorus— composed by Von Weber, and 

sung with universal applause in the Opera of Der Freischutr. 

1 he Poetn by S L. Blanchard, Esq. 
Hope, thou nurse of young desire, a celebrated Duett, sung in the 

Opera of Love in a Village 
The High Mettled Racer — a celebrated Song, written and sung by 

Mr Dibdin with £reat applause 
Heaving of the Lead— a favourite Sea Song, composed by W. 

Shield, andsung with great applause at the Theatres Royal, 

Concert*. &c» 
Hi was despised and rejected of men — an admired Air, composed 

by G. h\ Handel and sung at the Public Concerts, &c. 
How merrily we live thnt shepherds be — a very celebrated Glee 

composed by Michael Este sung at Public Concerts, &c. 
He dies, the friend of sinners dies — a popular Hymn, composed 

by Dr. Madan, and arranged for the Piano Forte or Organ 
Grand Hanoverian March — composed and arranged lor the Piano 

Forte by George Baker and performed by the Regimental 

Bands 
Had I a heart for faUehood fiamed ? a favourite Song, sung in the 

Opera of the Duenna, arranged for the Piano Forte 
Holy, holy, Lord— a celebrated Air, composed by G. F. Handel 

and sung at Public Festivals, &c. 
How sweetin the woodlan Is — a favourite Vocal Duft, composed 

and arranged for the Piano Forte by Dr Harrington 
Henry : a Cottaye Nta'd— a favourite Song, composed for the Pian< 

Forte by Ignace 1'leyei 
Two Celebrated Hymns — The Hymn of Eve, and The Hymn t» 

Nature, arranged for the Piano Forte and Voice 
Hailstone Chorus— composed by G F.Handel. Arranged for th 

• Piano Forte orOrgnn 
Here's to ttie maiden of b shful fifteen — a favourite Song sung 

with gr« a applause in the School for Scandnl 
The Love sick frog, or Heigho s*\s Kowley — a celebrated Song 
aung at the Theatres hcyal, arranged with an accompaniment 
for *•• Piano Forte 
4 



Duncombe's Piano Forte Music* 

8d. Eadl [Published at 10, Middle Row, Holboro 

Maid of Snowdon.a favourite Welch Air, arranged with Varia* 

tions for the Piano Forte by M Hoist 
Martin Luther's Hymn, a celebrated piece sung by Mr. Braham, 

Arranged with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
Moxart's Three Celebrated Waltzes, arranged for the Piano 
My love she's but a lassie yet, a favourite Scotch Song, sung with 

great applause by Mr. Wilson 
My lodging is on the cold ground, a celebrated Song, arranged 

with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
The Mighty conqueror, a celebrated Glee for four Voices, com- 
posed by Samuei Webbe 
My friend and pitcher, a celebrated Son g, sung with great ap- 
plause at thn Theatres, Public Concerts, <&c. 
My friend is the man 1 would copy through hie, or The Model — 

a celebrated Song, sung at Public Concerts. Composed and 

arranged for the Piano Forte by Mr Hook 
The celebrated Marseillois Hymn, or Marche des Marseillois, a 

popular National Air, arranged with an accompaniment for the 

Piano Forte 
My mother bids me bind my hair, a favourite Song, composed by 

Dr Haydn 
Megan, O ! O meg an ee I The popular Duett or Glee, compos* d 

by Michael Kelly, and sung in the Castle Spectre 
The Mermaid's Song, a favourite Canzonet, composed, with an 

Accompaniment for the Piano Forte by Dr. Haydn 
Maggie Lauder, a celebrated Scotch Song, sung by Mr. Wilson in 

his popular Entertainments 
My Boy Tammy, a favourite Scotch Ballad, sung by Mr. Wilson 

with much applause. Arranged with an accompaniment for 

the Piano Forte 
The marvellous works behold amazed, a favourite Air from 

Haydn's Sacred Oratorio, « The Creation,' arranged with an 

Accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
No flower that blows, a favourite Song composed by Mr, Linley, 

and sung at the Theatres Royal 
O Willie brewed a peck o'maut. A'ritten bv Robert Burns, and 

arranged as a Glee for three Voices by W. West, with an ac- 
companiment for the Piano Forte 
O Nanny, wilt thou gang wi' me, a celebrated Scotch Song, sung 

by Mr. Braham with great applause. Music composed by T. 

Carter 
O remember the time, a celebrated Air, sung with universal ap- 
plause by Madame Vestris at the Theatres Royal 
Once 1 bounded through th? forest, a celebrated Song sung by 

Mr. Braham in the Opera of Der Fretsehutz. Composed by 

Von Weber 
Owhistleand I'll come to thee my lad, a celebrated Scotch Ballad* 

arranged by J. Waring, as sung at the Theatres Roy.al 
O praise ye the Lord, or the 104th. Psalir, composed by Handel 
7 



Duiicoiube's Piano Forte Music. 

3d. Each. [Pub ished at 10, Middle Row, Holborn. 

The kiss, dear maid, a celebrated Song, written Lord Byron, and 

suny at the lh< atres Royal, Public Concert*, &c. Arranged 

for the Piano Forte 
The Nigt.tingale,a favourite Military Air—arranged for one, or aa 

a Duett for Two performers on the Piano frorte 
Now the sun is in the West, or the Cuckoo, a favourite Song- 
arranged with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
Our country is our ship, d'ye see, a favourite National Song, sung 

at the Theatres Royal, &c. Composed by Storace 
O happy tawny moor, a favourite Duett, sung with great applause 

in the Mountaineers 
On by the spur of valour goaded, a very celebrated Song, sung at 

the Theatres, &c Muse composed by W. Shield 
Over the hills and far away, a celebrated Scotch dongsung by Mr. 

Wilson, arranged with an accompaniment for the Piano 
O come loud anthems, a favourite Hymn, arranged with an ac- 
companiment for the Piano Forte or Org n 
The Old Hundredth Psalm, arranged for the Piano Forte or Organ 

with Interludes, &c. 
Of all the brave birds that ever 1 see, the owl is the fairest in her 

degree- a favourite Glee for three Voices, Music by N. 

Freeman 
Overture to the Messiah, composed by G. F. Handel, and per- 
formed at Public Festivals. Sec. 
Purcells Ground, with Nineteen pleasing Variations for the 

Piano Forte 
Poor Tom Bowling, a favourite Song, written and composed by 

Mr. Dibdin, and arranged with accompaniments for the Piano 

Forte 
Paga Fui Fui Lieta un di, a celebrated Italian Song, sung at the 

Opera House with great applause 
Poor Mary Anne, or Ar hyd y nos. a celebrated Welsh Air, ar- 

ranged or three Voices, with an accompaniment for the 

Piano Forte 
Pray Goody, a favourite Song, sung by Mr. Sinclair with much 

appianse at the Iheaties Koyal 
The red red rose — a vtry favourite Scotch Song, sung with uni- 
versal applause in the Opera of Rob Roy Macgregor at the 

Theatres Royal 
Rest, beaMeous flower, a celebrated Song, sung in the Opera of 

of the Lord of the Manor. Music composed by Mr. Jackson 

of Exeter 
Robin Adair, a celebrated Scotch Song, sung with great applause 

by Mr. Braham at the Theatres Royal, Concerts, &c. 
Roys Wife of Aldivalloch, a popular Scotch ballad, sung by Mr. 

Wilson —arranged for the Piano Forte 
The Request — Tell me, b.bblisg echo, why ? Avery popular 

Song, composed with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte. 

by G, Vogier 
8 



Buncombe's Piano Forte ssusic. 

8d, Eacll, [Pub'ished at iO, Middle Row, Holborn, 

Handel 8 celebrated Water Piece—arranged for the Piano Forte, 

and fing red 
Honest Bob of the Mill, a yery celebrated Song, sung in the Opera 

of l'lie Woodman Aiusic composed by Y\ . shield 
He shall feed hia flock — a favourite ,-iir, composed by G. F. Han* 

del. and sung at Festivals 
1 know that my Redeemer liveth, a celebrated Air, composted by 

G. F. Handel and sung at Festivals 
In my cottage near a wood, a favourite Ballad, composed byR A. 

More) and 
1 have a silent sorrow here— the celebrated Soug sung in the 

Stranger M usic composed by the Duchess of Devonshire, 

and arranged for the Piano Forte 
^esu lover of my soul— a much-admired Hymn, arranged with an 

accompaniment for the Piano Forte or Orjjan 
Jock O Hazeldean — a celebrated Song written by Sir Walter 

Scoit, and sung with great applause at Public Concerts, Ar- 
ranged -fojr the Piano Forte 
Julia to the Wood Robin — a favourite Canzonet sung at the No- 
bilities Concerts. Music composed by Regina d Spofforth 
Jamie's Complaint— the celebrated Sequel to the favourite Scotch 

Song of Auld Robin Graj. Arranged for the Pia.no Fort* 
In my pleasant native pains — an admired Ballad, sung at Public 

and Private Concerts. Arranged for the Piano Forte 
In peace love tunes the shepherd's reed — a favourite Song, written 

by Sir Walter Scott, and sung .n the Lady of the Lajte. 4?* 

ranged for the Piano Forte 
1 am a friar of orders grey— a celebrated Air sung at$s TJjea^res 

Royal, Concerts, &c Arranged for the Piano Forte 
Kitty of Coler.aine— a popular Song sung at the Theatres Royal. 

Arranged for the Fiar.o Forte 
The Knitting Girl — a celebrated Song, composed by £>r. Hay^n 

and sung at the London Theatres, Concerts, &e 
Kinloch of Kintoch — a favouiite Scotch Song written by Robert 

Burns. Arranged with accompaniments, &c. for the Piano 

Forte 
The Lay of f tbe Imprisoned Huntsman, written by Sir Walter 

Scott and sung in the Lady of the Lake Composed and ar- 
ranged for the Piano rorte by W. S. Stevens— aWo sung at 

Public Concerts, &c 
Le Portrait— an admired French Song, arranged for the Piano 

Forte or Harp 
Lord, remember David — a celebrated Air, composed by G. F, 

Handei, and arranged for the Piano Porte or Organ 
Lord of all power and might; written and compoted by the Rev. 

Mr, Mason, and airang.ed with an accompaniment ipj the 

Piano Forte 
"Let me wander not unieen, composed by Q. F. Handtl, and v 

ranged for the Piano Forte 
6 



Duncofinbe'* Piano Forte Music. 

*d ICaoll. [Published at 10, Middle Row, Holborn. 

Let the bright seraphim— a favourite Air compost d by G.P. Han- 
del, and sung at Public Festivals, &c. Arranged with an Ac- 
companiment for the Piano Forte 
Let fame sound the trumpet, a celebrated Song, sung in the Opeia 

of Fontainebleau. Mus c compo-ed by VV . Shield 
Lashed to the helm— a f vounte Sea Song, sung at Public Con- 
ceits, &c. Arranged for the PWno Forte 
The Last ^hilling — a celebrated Son*, written, composed, and sun* 

by Mr Dibdin * 

Little Taffiine, a favourite Song, snng by Mrs. Keeley, arranged 

with an accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
Lovely Nan, a iavom ,te "Song, written, composed, and sung by Mr, 

Dibdin. Arranged for the Piano Forte 
The Lass of Richmond hill — a favourite Song,suugat the Theatres 

Royal, Conceits, &c. Arranged with an accompaniment for 

the Piano Forte 
Lord, remember me — a much-admired Hymn for four Voices, 

The W ords written, and the Music composed by the Rev. Dr, 

Haweis 
Lira lira la — a favourite Song. Music composed by Dr. Arnold, 

and sung with great applause at the Theatres Royal 
The Last Words of Marmion^—a celebrated Song written by Sir 

Walter Scott, and sung by Mr. Braham with great applause 
Love from the heart, a popular Ron do, sung by Madame Vestris 

at the Theatres Royal with much applause 
The land we live in, a favourite National Song, composed by 

Reeve, and sung at the Theatres Royal 
The lonely isle, or Allan Bane's Song, written by Fir Walter 

Scott, and sung with great applause in the Lady of the Lake 
Love sounds the alarm— a popular Air composed by(*. F. Handel 

and sung by Mr Braham with great applause 
The Mariners — We be three poor Mariners. A celebrated Giee 

for three Voices, sung with much applause at Public Concerts 

—arranged for the Piano Forte 
rheMaidof Lodi, a popular Ballad, sung by Mr, Braham. The 

Music composed by W. Shield 
Merrily every bosom boundeth, sung with great applause by Ma- 
i dame Vestris at the theatres Royal, Arranged for the Piano 
1 Forte 
My own dear somebody, a favourite ^ong — also arranged for two 

Voices. and as a Duett for two Flutes & Piano Forie 
Money is your friend, a celebrated Song, composed by W, Reeve, 

and sung with much applause at the Theatres Royal 
My native land 1 bade adieu, a favourite Song sung in the Opera 

of The Haunted Tower, Music composed by Storace 
Mary's Dream— a favourite Song, composed by J. l<elfe,and sung 

with great effect at Public Concerts, &c. 
Ma enere amie, a celebrated Song, sung at the Theaties Royal— 

Millie composed by Mr. Hook 



\ 



I)uncomt)e'& Fiano Fcrle Music. 

3d. Eaoll* [Published at 10, Middle Row, Holborn. 

The Celebrated Resurrection Hymn, arranged with an accompa- 
niment for the Piano Forte or Organ 

Scots wha ha'e wi' Wallace bled, a celebrated Scotch Song, sung at 
the Theatres Royal. Concerts, &c. Arranged with an Accom- 
paniment for the Piano Forte by Joseph kiart 

Since then I'm doomed — and I'm a brisk and sprightly lad — two 
very favourite Songs sung by Madame Vestris in the Spoiled 
Child 

Sheeps hearing—- a very popular Song, written and sung by Mr t 
Dibdm afthe Concerts, &c 

Sigh no more, ladies — a celebrated Glee for three voices, ar- 
ranged for the Piano Forte as sung at the Theatres Royal 

The Streamlet— a favour te Ballad, composed by W. Shield, and 
sung at the Theatres Royal 

The soldier tired of wa.'s alarms— a very celebrated Song, ar- 
ranged for the Piano Fo/te, ms sung at the Theatres Royal 

Spanish Guana Waltz, as danced at Public Balls— arranged for till 
Piano Forte by L. Aiberti ( 

Sandy and Jenny — a popular Scotch Ballad, arranged with an ac- 
companim°nt for the Piano ^orte 

Sprig of shillelagh and shamrock so green, a celebrated Irish Song 
sung at the Theatres Royal, arranged for the Piano Forte 

The Sapling oak — a favourite Song, sung at the Theatres Roy?l, 
Cone erts, &c. Composed by Storace 

The Storm — Cease, rude Boreas — a very celebrated Song, sung at 
the Theatres Royal, Concerts, &c. Arranged with an accom- 
paniment forihe Piano Fo te 

See the conquering hero comes — a celebrated Air composed by G. 

F. Handel — arranged for the Piano Forte 

Sweet little Barbara, a very popular Duett sung in the Iron Chest 

— Music composed by Storace 
She never told her love — a celebrated Canzonet, composed by Dr. 

Haydn, and sung at Concerts, &c. 
The Celebrated ^kaiting Duett — arranged for the Piano Forte 
The Sacrament Hymn, composed by Handel, and arranged with an 

accompaniment for the Piano Forte or Organ 
The trumpet shall sound, a celebrated Sacred Song composed by 

G. F. Handel, and sung at Public Festivals, &c. 

There's nae luck about the house, a very celebrated Scotch Song, 

sung by Mr. Wilson — arranged for the Piano Forte 
To all you ladies now at land — a favourite Glee, composed ant, 

arranged for three Voices by Dr Callcott 
Tak' your auld cloak about ye — a favourite Scotch Song sung by 

Mr, Wilson — arranged with an accompaniment for the Piano 
Take a bumper and try — a celebrated Song sung at the Concerts. 

Arranged for the Piano Forte by Thomas Mitchell 
True courage — a celebrated Sea Song written and composed by 

Mr Dibdm 
The Tose had been washed in a shower — a favourite Song sung b* 

2tfr» Braham with applause. Composed by Mr* Webbe 



Dun combe' s Piano Forte Music. 

3d. Each [Published at 10, Middle Row, Holborn. 

The spacious firmament— a favourite Anthem, arranged for the 

Piano Forte and sung at Festivals, &c. 
The Queen and Old England for ev^r— a celebrated patriotic 

Song, sung by Mr. Braham at the Concerts, Theatres. &c. 

Words by Mr. Parry, and the Music composed by Shield 
The Wandering sailor, a very celebrated Song sung by Mr Braham 

at the Theatres Royal. Arranged for the Piano Forte 
When bidden t© the wake or fair — a favourite Song sung in the 

Opera of Rosina, composed by Shield 
When William at eve— a favourite Song composed by Shield and 

9ung with great applause in the Opera of Rosina 
Water parted from the sea — a celebrated Song sung in the Opera 

of Artaxerxes. Composed by Dr A me 
With all my heart I love thee— a favourite Duett sung with uni- 
versal applause at the Theatre* Royal, Concerts. &c 
W hen the rosy morn appearing — a celebrated Solo, Duett, aud 

Glee sung intbe Opera of Kosina. Composed by Shield 
What though 1 trace each herb and flower — a favourite Sacred 

Song, composed by G F- Handel, and sung at Festivals, &c. 
The Wolf — At the peaceful midnight hour — a celebrated Song 

composed by W Shield, and sung at the Theatres & Concerts 
The Wounded Hussar — a favourite Ballad written by Thomas 

Campbell, arranged for the Piano Forte, and sung at Public 

Concerts 
The wealth of the cottage is love, a very popular Song sung at the 

Theatres hoyal, <&c. Music composed by W . Reeve 
Where are you going my pretty rraid — a celebrated Ballad sung by 

Madame Vestris at the London Theatres, &c. Arranged for 

the Piano Forte 
While the lads of the village, a popular Ballad, sung at the 

Theatres with great applause. Composed by Dibdin 
The Welsh Harper, a favourite Song written by Sheridan Knowled, 

and sung at the Conceits. Arranged with an accompaniment 

for the Piano Forte 
With verdure clad the fi* Ids appear, a favourite Song sung in th<e 

Creation. Composed by Dr, Haydn 
Worthy the Lamb, a celebrated Air composed by G F. Handel, and 

arranged with an Accompaniment for the Piano Forte 
Who is the King of jjlory ? a celebrated Hymn, arranged with an 

accompaniment for tine Piano Forte or Organ 
With wine 1 good wine, a favourite Couvivial Fong sung with 

much applause by Mr. Henry Phillip*. Arranged with an 

accompaniment for the Piano Foite 
Which is the properest day to drink ? a favourite Glee for three 

Voices composed by Dr. Arne 
When Arthur first in court began, a celebrated Glee for Three 

v oices, composed by Dr. Callcott 
Within a mile of Edinburgh town, a celebrated Scrtch Song sung 

at the Theatres Royal, &c. Arranged with an accompaniment 

for the Piano Forte 
10 



I! uncombed Piano Forte Music* 

ltd Kaell [Published at 10, Middle Row, Holbarn 

When pensive I thought on my love, a popular Song sung at the 

Theatres Royal, &c. Arranged o> ihe Piano Forte 
Weel may the boatie row, a celebrated Scottish Duett, arranged 

with an accompaniment fo the Piano Foite 
Yet stay fair lady, wrtten as an Answer to the Friar of order* 

grey. Music composed by Dr. Callcott, a celebrated Mee 

sung at the Concerts, &c. 
Ye streams that round my pr son creep, a popular S >ng sung in 

the Opera of Lodoiska at the Theatres Royal— arranged for 

the Piano Forte 
Ye sons of freedom wake to glory, a celebrated Patriotic Song 

6ung by Mr. Brah.mi with great applause ai Puunc Conceua, 

Theatres, &c. 
Ye gentlemen of England, a celebrated Glee f »r three Voices 

Composed by Dr. < aUc >tt,and sung at Public Concerts, &c 
Ye banks and braes o' bonnie Doon, a .favourite Scotch Song, ar- 
ranged for the Piano Forte as sung at the Theatres RorsrV; ~ 

Concerts, &c. 
Black-* yed Susan's Complaint, a favourite Song, written by Mr, 

Ja mes Bruton. and sung by Miss H. Cawse 

JUVENILE AMUSBMEWtT 

A COLLECTION OF THE FOLLOWING 
Eighteen Popular and Pleasing Atr», 

ARRANGED IN THF EASIEST MANNER 

FOR BEGINNERS ON THE PIANO FORTE, 
BY JAMES Mc. EWE N. 

CONTENTS OF BOOK I. 
An, Tout darai, Buy a broom. Swiss Boy. Misletoe Bough. 
A Highland lad my love was born. Kate Kearney. Rousseau's 
Dream, Believe me, if all those endearing young charms. 
They're all noddin. Oysters, sir O merry may the keel row. 
Over the water to Charlie. Haydn's Surprise. Swiss Toy Girl. 
Forty Thieves. The Old English Gentleman Home, sweet home. 
Little Red Riding Hood (Price Eighteen Pence.) 

CONTENTS OF BOOK 2. 

The Polish Mazourka. The Young May Moon. The Blue Bells 
of Scotland, My beautiful Rhine. John Anderson my jo. Gro- 
tesque Dance in the popular Opera of Gustavus.' My heart and 
lute. The Queen's Delight. The Turnpike Gate. Woodman, 
spare that tree. O pescator dell' onda. Popular Russian Air, 
Cachucs Dance. Andante, by Herz O dolce concento. As we 
marched through the town- Galope in 'Gustavus. RoryO" 
More. (Price Eighteen Pence ) 

A Thjed Book is published, and may be had of any Booksellsr 
in Town and Country* 



Sew. Musical WoHk^or_allj|„.* rumeiltw# 

THE MUSICAL CASKET: 

OR, MELODIES FOR. THE MILLION ! 

A CHOICE SELECTION OF THE 

Most Favourite aud Popular Airs, 

'oTt^ C'e E v AS ' EST K n E¥S, * nd " the m ° 8t P ,ea81n « "«-. 

OR THE ?LUTE VlOL.N, CLARIONET, FLAGEOLET, CORNOFEAW 
PHP tvt^x r, ACC °«">'ON, WITH SEMI-TONES, K^ "**. 

THE WHOLE EDITED & ARRANGED BV JAMES Mc EWEN 

in V ™ BL,SHED B Y DUNOOMBR, 10, MIDDLE Row. HoLBORN 

W Volu,„e S( neatly bound in c 1 o.h,price2s. fid eacT', or in Number.. 

n , price Ihreepenc** each. 

0rrftfrd arealso recei ^d by all Booksellers in the Kingdom. 



P £ OMt ««*s of Ufa. 1 

raddy will y OU now 

Long, Jong ago [American Air] 

Liverpool Hornpipe 

VV oodman spare that tree [Russell 

I yroleee fortune-teller 

Aurora W a , * [Labitzky 

Imperial Chinese Grand March 

™. _ . _ [Mc. Ewen 

< hinese Festive Dance 

My beautiful Rhine 

I ilia's i ady 

Will Witch, the Bold Smuggler 

Clar de Jcitchin [Negro Melody 

I came from a happy land 

., T , m [Hindostan Air 

My Lord Tomnoddy 

Misletoe Bough 

Johnny Cope [Scotch Air 

Kiss and be friends 

They march'd through the town 

[American Air 
I he Angei's Whisper [Lover 

Uird of Cockpen [Scotch Air 

I he man that couldn't get warm 
i he girl I left behind me 
fullochgorum [Highland Fling 

Contents of Wo. 3 

Punchinello 

Look at the clock 

Biddy the Basket Woman, or No 

rah Creina 
One suit between two 
Flowers of Edinburgh 



Swiss Boy 

Sons of the Flask 

Lass *hat lore* a tailor 



Taglioni's Shawl Dance 
The Cracovienne 
I want money 
Remember, love, remember 
Bonny breist knots 
Canadian Boat Song 
Follow the drum 
The garden gate 

Tivoli Quadrille [Me.Ewea 

Oh no, we never mention her 
Danish Grand March 
Portsea Hornpipe 
Jenny Jones [Welsh A if 

Dehconte— * Take these children' 
Duett— Norma [Be:lmi 
Jim along Josey [Negro Melon v 

Contents of Wo. 8 

Those Evening Bells 
Hot codlings [Reeve 

Love s Ritornella [French Air 
Ihe better land Mrs Hemans 

By the margin of Zurich's fair 

waters 
Kate Kearney 

The rook sits high [W. West 

Tell me, have ye seen & toy 
Old English Gentleman 
Rory O'More 
Minstrel boy 
Bee proffers honey 
Banks of Allan Water 
Garland of Love 
Lass o'Goarie [Sco.ch Ail 

Speed the plough 
Sleuiii boat Hornpipe 
Sieh a .^ittiu up stairs 
Dusty Bob's Daiuse 



[Lover 

[Reeve 
[Horn 



R2B mnrasE 

■■ffiHiH 
WUBSUhbr 

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